An Introduction

This is a blog about life. Specifically, this blog is about my life. Even more specifically, this blog is about my life philosophy.

I feel sort of weird saying that this is about MY life philosophy. That’s because I totally stole it from my friend. However, when I thanked my friend for his great philosophy this past summer he just kind of stared at me blankly. He had no recollection of talking to me about it. Because he didn’t remember saying it, I’m just gonna act like it’s my own. Like, maybe I just dreamed that the conversation with my friend happened. In that case, the origin would  in fact be my own sub-conscience, right? We’ll just go with that.

Anyway, let’s get to the point. My life philosophy. Our first assumption must be that life is full of decisions. Heck, right now you’re probably deciding whether or not to believe the previous sentence. I rest my case. Secondly, like the butterfly from Ray Bradbury’s “A Sound of Thunder”, one simple decision can greatly impact the rest of your life and everyone else’s. Therefore, I suppose to you that any life philosophy worth it’s weight ought to assist one in decision making. So here it is:

The three steps to making a decision:

1. Grow a pair.

2. Make a decision.

3. Don’t regret it.

I assume that if you’re still reading this, you must be desperate to learn a life philosophy that will bring you endless love and happiness. If you’re looking for that, you should probably try Joel Osteen. That being said, the man is super creepy and feels like generally just a fake person. Like a happiness robot. The grandiose Southern accent really doesn’t help at all either. Ok, now I’m just nit-picking.

It should now be pretty clear that I’m not making the promise that you’ll like your life a lot better after reading this blog. Frankly, if you believe that some dweeb writing a blog can make that promise, you’re a dumb-ass. I’m not here to be your motivational speaker. Honestly, I’m not doing this for you at all. I’m writing this blog as a creative outlet. For me… Not you.

Not for you.

I digress. If you continue reading this blog, you’ll soon realize that many of my stories about the decisions I’ve made do not, in fact, end happily. Some end awkwardly. Some end poorly. Some end with me hitchhiking a ride sitting on top of 400+ lbs of firewood in the back of a 1987 Chevy S10 pickup being driven by a Native American with a cane.